Mid-July

Here it is the middle of July - Litha/Summer Solstice is behind me and just ahead is Lammas,
signalling the summer is coming to an end - the harvests are beginning to be made. The weather here in my part of the world has been rather cool and a little rainy. I suppose for most people this would be a good summer, but I was looking forward to hot, sticky summer days and nights through the past cold winter and spring days of mud and ice. But then I've always marched to a slightly different drum from those around me in my everyday world.

A guitar student of mine called me last night, out of the blue, to apologize for the fact that he didn't call me before he left for the summer.... which was weeks ago. He was in an airport in VA preparing to board a plane to fly to Sweden for a two week visit. I think he was feeling apprehensive about the coming plane trip - I am not sure he has ever flown before and he wanted to tie up any loose ends before he took off just in case things didn't work out well.
I was a bit touched that I was a loose end he wanted to tie up. I always sensed he is a young
person with a lot issues he has trouble dealing with. I have always hoped the music we share
would be of a comfort and grounding for him in his split life. His parents are divorced and live in different states and I think he still has problems dealing with it.

I remember a close friend of my youngest son had these problems when his parents divorced.
He was so torn up - he loved them both so much that he couldn't make the decision of whom to live with. His sister had no problem making the decision and choose the mother. So he choose his dad because he didn't want his dad to be alone. But he still wanted to be with his
mother. He envied my son because his original parents lived together and there lots of siblings living in the same household and the refrigerator always was full of the dregs of leftovers and such. His refrigerator usually contained only a bottle of wine, some cheese, and perhaps some sour milk in a carton. Lots of take out ordered there or else eating out. And his dad was a cook for a state prision system!! Guess it is one of those situations where you didn't want to take your work home with you.

Anyway this young man is now almost 30 and I think in the past couple of years he has finally come to grips with the divorce situation and is finding himself and his own life. During his troubled childhood since this earthshaking event at the age of twelve, he frequently visited with psychologist for childhood problems. He would talk to me about it and I got the feeling that this professional person was only another person he could talk to about his torn up feelings without getting the response of telling him 'to deal' with it because most every kid
has divorced parents. A sad but true fact in life. Why do people even bother getting married; it only make the end of the relaitonship messy and what ever you do please be very careful considering having a child - this is a lifetime committment on your part and the child's.